Origins of Muffins
by kazlene
Summary: Where did the delectable treats Derpy loves come from? And what were the consequences?


Derpy closed the legendary text book sitting in front of her, sending up a plume of dust and causing her candlelight to flicker, with a real danger of going out, she didn't notice though. She was too focused on the tome in front of her, the stylized golden muffin glimmering temptingly in the dying flame. This tome was a legend among the most serious of muffin lovers and she alone stood above the rest. The book choose her. And the tale within, it had to be true. Just thinking of the magic within there made her mouth water. She needed to get her hooves on it, its awesome spectacular, awe inspiring taste.

Her head snapped up. She needed magic. Time travel magic. Her head scanned the ancient library around her. There had to be something in this musty old room that had time travel. The golden orb eyes flickered through the titles, glowing with fever. The Pegasus skipped over such titles as Ye Olde Dictionary, How Equestria Came to Be; a first hand Guide, Starswirl The Bearded personal diaries; age sixteen, A Dummy's guide to Simple Time Travel. Wait. The mare's head snapped back like a rubber-band, the book whispered silky nothing's into her ear. Horseshoes, shiny and new, clanked against the stone floor of the library as the grey Pegasus trotted slowly over to the bright yellow book. Ears pricked forwards and she reach forward grabbing the thick paper back with her teeth. She wobbled off center for a minute and then trotted back to the desk in the center of the room where her left behind muffin tome of destiny waited.  
The steadily increasingly dusty mare of grey set the heavy weight Dummy book down upon the dusty antique table. Leaving marks showing where her clumsy, hard to maneuver teeth let the book skid. The cover showed a funny looking pony, drawn with simple triangles and circles. The unicorn on the book jacket stood over a complicated spell circle straight from the pony necromonicon. However the mare seemed unaware of the sinister meanings upon the that innocent sunflower yellow background. Humming some upbeat song and belting out the occasional lyric, each word switch out for the ever holy muffin of course. Slowly the book open to reveal.. Emptiness. The book was hollow. Inside was a simply necklace, a plain wooden dove, carved in a simplistic design, curled around it a fine silver chain, woven so fine. The mare stopped her happy go lucky dog to let out an adorable sqee. Had any other ponies been present in the room, their brains would leak out of their eye sockets, from which their eyes had already leapt out of. Their blood would have turned to sugary rock candy and their liver would simply fail, after all the bizarre can't happen to every body part. That would be just a little silly. Luckily the location of this library was deep within the wild Everfree forest, where no sane person would go, for muffins or otherwise.

The grey mare, her mane messed up and covered in dust reached in the fake book and pulled out the necklace. With a happy little hum of pride, the wall eyed mare slipped it on and over her head.

She disappeared.

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The Text book the mare known as Derpy Hooves was contained the true tale of the origins of the first muffin. A blueberry muffin to be exact. Created between the three rulers of each of the pony Tribes. Together Chancellor Puddinghead,leader of the Earth ponies, the most resilient, Princess Platinum, monarch of the unicorns, the most intelligent, and finally Commander Hurricane, the supreme chief of the graceful pegasi made this treat in honor of the majestic being who would raise their sun every morning, allowing each race such a bountiful amount of food, the likes of which they had never seen before, even in their old land. And against the advice of the great Wizard Starswirl it told that they added blueberries to the mixture, making it into a combination that would slowly, over time,attract evil and disorder. Not that our mare Derpy read this part, she skimmed over it.  
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I blinked my golden orbs, trying to focus my good eye on my surroundings. I don't m is what had just happened, I just wanted to try the pretty bird necklace. It was the same shade of grey as me. And when I was just a little filly, momma always said I was her little dove. I like doves. I grinned happily forgetting about being confused and lost in a potentially foreign and dangerous land.

Remembering said fact of the not knowing where in tartarus I was I actually focused on my surroundings, I sometimes have trouble focusing. Especially when there's cool shiny stuff, like this awesome necklace. I mean it had to have sort of magical mystically power, I definately wasn't in that stuffy old ruin of a library any more. This place was bright and well light, the walls an absolutly glowing white. The windows reached the ceiling, their glass as clear as..as...ok I dont know what metaphor to use for clear glass. It was just really, really clean, ok?

In fact it reminded me of the few times I've made special deliveries to the home of the princesses, Canterlot Castle, for the Elements of Harmony. Other than the fact the glass here wasnt all pretty story pictures and...I turned around checking for the throne that was always occupied by the ruler of our Day, Princess Celestia.

I locked eyes with the monument in the middle of the room. It wasn't the throne, oh no, though that waas there and unoccupied. I was looking upon that glorious pedastal, ad more importently what sat upon a silver beauty of a platter. Displayed there for all to see, in all of its glory, sat the most wonderful muffin I had every seen. I bowed down before its greatness, how could I dare disrespect it by doing otherwise?

I took a step closer, ignoring the warming of thhe pendent around my neck. I was in awe of the legend before me. This had to be the first ever muffin, the one the book spoke of. I cocked my head looking at it. And then I heard voicesk coming from one direction of the room, the side with the tall and wide gold plated doors, not the plain, unmarked wooden one closest to me. I paniced. I lunged forward, in time for the other door to creak, this door slowly opening. I grabbed that still warm beauty in my mouth, already the blueberry juice flavoring my mouth, an explosion of so much flavor I almost dropped it. I didn't have time though. As soon as I grabbed the muffi the necklace I wore heated up beyond the point of being able to ignore it and there was a bright blinding flash, and then suddenly I was back in that stupid old library, but I still had my muffin. So I was happy.  
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Celestia entered through the golden doors, her horn glowing yellow to counter the heavy weight.

"Our three tribes worked together to make you a treat as radiant as your summer sun and as delicious and the warm touch of your glorious spring. We call it a ..."

Princess Platinum froze, her mouth hanging open, staring at the empty silver platter, the only occupants of the room other than the leaders of the tribes were the goddess Princessess Celestia and Luna. And Luna was standing particurally close to an empty silver platter. Sniffing it in fact. A sleight tick could be seen appearing in Commander Hurricane's left eye.

"Luna, my dear sister, what is the meaning of... This?" The Princess of the Sun inquired, her voice terse.

"Sister it is not as it looks. I was entering the throne room when a bright light appear at this spot. I- I was just..." The young sister faltered under the glare of her elder.

"Were you jealous little one? Is that what this about? Do not lie to me."

"Tia! I'm not lying. Honest!" The blue alicorn stepped forward lifting a silver covered hoof out to her sister, jostling the silver platter into falling.

The white alicorn regarded the platter quietly, its fall had knocked sweet crumbs into her dear sister's soft fur. The wise ruler was obviously debating something much more serious than a stolen muffin, the three ponies remained hestainatly quiet behind her, the brightly furred earth pony nervously pawing at the fine tile.

"My dear sister, I am weary to do this but lately, lately you have been acting off. I would rather it have not come to this but..."

Celestia lowered her horn, pointing it directly at her younger sibling.

"Sister?"

The three smaller ponies gasped at the stream of yellow magic that emitted from their beloved leaders horn. And then As the darkly colored alicorn disappeared the regal white unicorn in the middle of the three fainted right away.

"We will not talking about this again, we will say something evil had replaced my sister and that I, wih your help banished the monster where she could not return."

And this the legend of the dreaded Nightmare Moon came to pass, all over a small altercation over the first muffin.


End file.
